New Life Games LLC
General NLG Chat => Joke of the day & silly humor - post 'em here! Warning: NSFW !!! => Topic started by: Joeylc on July 22, 2014, 12:28:37 PM
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Joke of the day & silly humor - post 'em here! Warning: NSFW !!!
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Where did “piss poor†come from ?June 26, 2011 at 12:44pm
Where did “piss poor†come from ?
Us older people need to learn something new every day..
Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.
Where did "Piss Poor" come from?
Interesting History.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot
And then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery...
.if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...
They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500s
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,
Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals
(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
Could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery
In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,
It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
“Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days oldâ€.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests
And would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,
causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes,
so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status.
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle,
and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom; “of holding a wakeâ€.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks
on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin
and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.)
to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
“saved by the bell†or was “considered a dead ringerâ€.
And that's the truth.
Now, whoever said History was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone! ~~~
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
'What the heck happened?'
We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.
“Smileâ€,
it gives your face something to do!
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Love it Joey! That was a great little read!
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I read this earlier also and got quite the kick out of it. :1: . 777-B.
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We need some fun here... I'll try joke of the day since it's been a few years, and there's only 1 joke posted!
Here goes... wait... should I start with a mildly crude one or go with the silly one?
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thinking...
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Okay I'll go for the silly one.
Two Eskimos were in a small boat. One got cold and lit a fire in the boat. The craft sunk, proving once and for all:
Drum roll...
You can't have your kayak and heat it too. :Tongue_Out:
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Here's a couple of funny pictures, at least I think so. One is legendary Chicago Cubs announcer Harry Caray planting a big smooch on a future presidential wanna-be. Her eyes and mouth look like she is getting into the moment, but I am always misreading women.
The other photo (fake- you think!) is Trump giving Hillary some of what Hillary needs.
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okay we've strayed from my silly clean one, but that last picture was funny !! :rotfl:
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Joke for Tuesday:
What did Spock find in the Enterprises's toilet?
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The captain's log!
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Hmmmm no one seems to be here. :sleep:
Well I'll keep trying.
Joke for Friday - a Craigslist ad.
I troll CL for slots and always get angry when I see people trying to sell pachislo's as "Las Vegas" slot machines, or "Real" slot machines. Today I see another and the title is:
Las Vegas Slot Machine with Stand - $300
And the main picture is the STAND with a snippet of the lower part of this alleged "Las Vegas" slot machine.
I can see it's obviously a pachislo but I click on to see the next picture to confirm this is yet another Craigslist liar.
BUT to my amazement... it really IS a Las Vegas slot machine, of sorts. :rotfl:
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)
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:rotfl:
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! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMNqIDveOvc#)
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! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTpP770n8aQ#)
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A Weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender looks up and says, "Wow in all my years of tending bar, I've never served a Weasel, what'll you have Buddy"? "Pop", goes the Weasel.
Sorry I couldn't help it. :duh:
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There is Old Morris......
Old Morris is 90 years old and marries a 17year old.... and heads off to the south of France for his honey moon.
Upon returning home Old Morris heads off to his favorite social club and his friend Old Sol asked how his honey moon had gone.
Old Morris said it was wonderful, we saw Nice' walked the beaches of Normandy and made love almost every day.
Old Sol is amazed he asks "Morris... you expect me to believe at your age you made love almost every day to a young girl"
Morris says of course.... I almost made love Monday, I almost made love Tuesday.......
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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an American Samoan, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argentinian, an Armenian, an Australian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Basotho, a Bengali, a Barbadian, a Barbudan, a Belorussian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bermudan, a Bhutanese, a Bissau-Guinean, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Botswanan, a Brazilian, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cape Verdean, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Caymanian, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comorian, a Congolese, a Cook Islander, a Costa Rican, an Ivorian, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czechlander, a Danish, a Djiboutian, a Dominican, a Timorese, an Ecuadorian, an Egyptian, an Englishman, an Equatoguinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Finnish, a French, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinean, a Guyanan, a Haitian, a Herzegovinan, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordinian, a Kazakh, a Kenyan, an I-Kirbati, a Kittitian, a Korean, a Kosovar, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourder, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivian, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Montenegrin, a Moroccan, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepali, a Nevisian, a Dutch, New Zealean, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerien, a Nigerian, a Niuean, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papuan, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Filipino, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Puerto Rican, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Saint Vincentian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a Sammarinese, a São Toméan, a Saudi Arabian, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a
Seychellois, a Seirra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovak, a Slovene, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Sudanese, a Sudanese, a Spanish, a Sri Lankan, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tokelauan, a Tongan, a Trinidadian and a Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Turkmen, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukranian, a Uruguayan, an Uzbek, a Ni-Vanuatu, a Vaticanian, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemeni, a Zambian, and a Zimbabwean all walk into a fancy restaurant.
The maître d' says, “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.â€
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:agreepost:
that's a good one!
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:agreepost: approving the above post!
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Another old Morris Joke
Old Morris at 90 has proposed to his 20yr blonde bombshell of a girlfriend. The girlfriend has insisted on separate bed chambers leading up to the wedding nuptials.....Later after the banquet is done, both retire to their own rooms and change. Soon after old Morris knocks on his ladys door. She, resigning herself to the inevitable welcomes him in. Old Morris does the deed and returns to his room... soon after he knocks on her door again, and like any newly wed couple does the deed. Once again he returns to his room. 20 min later he knocks on her door again.... and again they do the deed. 20 min later the knock comes again.... a now very tired and tussled young lady opens the door and says "again ?"
Morris looks up and says ... "you mean I have been here before ?"
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(https://s9.postimg.org/qsyyp5tof/truck_accident.jpg)
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Now that's a good one-no words but the pic tells all!---- :agreepost:
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Here is one-some may have not heard-Plenty more.
Two Indians in the old west hear a commotion and and a rumble He puts his head down to the grown to listen. He says Buffalo come. Other says -How you know?. His reply was "Face-Sticky". -- :arrowthruhead:
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(https://s10.postimg.org/q5ze74ai1/hearse_with_uhaul_z1.jpg)
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This one gave me a chuckle.
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I guess you drive back up when you need your plate refilled?