Graphic: How To MeditateThe Onion breaks down the steps involved in clearing your mind and meditating effectively.Step 1: Decide whether you’d prefer your meditation space to be totally silent or have some classic Rodney Dangerfield sets playing in the background.Step 2: As you prepare for your session, be careful not to confuse the tenets of meditation with those of yoga. Zen masters and yogis fucking hate each other.Step 3: Focus on your breathing. Remember, the harder you breathe, the harder you will meditate.Step 4: Pick a mantra to repeat over and over again while you meditate, such as “Om mani padme hum†or “Big money, big money.â€ÂStep 5: Picture ocean waves gently washing ashore; in and out; in and out. See the waves. In; out; in; out. See? You’ve already forgotten about picking up your kids from soccer practice.Step 6: With consistent practice, you should ...
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